On the cusp of my 50th birthday, let’s go back to my first year of living among the living…

Looks like the most exciting thing that happened during my first year of life was when a young lady from my parents’ church kidnapped me.

This young lady asked my mom if she could take care of me for some hours.

My mom said yes because she knew the girl and the girl’s family really well.

I was months old.

When several hours had passed and the girl had not returned with me, my mom called the girl’s parents asking if they knew where she was.

When all was said and done, my parents found out that this young lady had taken off with me to Texas to try and persuade a guy that I was his.

I’m glad he didn’t fall for it.

Imagine him having to deal with the little miss and all that she would entail.

God forbid!

Instead, it would be my mom and dad who would have the pleasure, angst, woe of raising, shaping, grounding and yes, even spanking me.

~missy salcido wead